Like It Says On The Box

by Kadorienne and Grey Bard

When Eliot walked into the bar, the most gorgeous brunette he'd seen since... well, since he finished work yesterday, was taking a sweating beer mug from the hand of another chick. The other chick wasn't bad either, kinda tomboyish, probably was on the softball team in high school. But the brunette was made up almost like a 40's movie star, with a big luscious mouth designed to make a man think thoughts, and she'd painted her dress on.

Eliot knew not to let opportunities pass by. He stepped right up, gave her his best crooked little grin, and said, "That's a nice dress you're almost wearing."

The other chicks around her all cracked up, but only for a second before they went back to watching the two of them like they'd never seen a guy laying on the charm before. The tomboy was checking him out with narrowed eyes. But she had to be used to this. If she wanted guys to notice her, she really needed not to hang out with the hottie. No guy was going to notice anyone else with her around.

Eliot turned his attention back to the hottie. She actually had a beauty spot, how retro was that? "So, beautiful, you got a name?"

One of the other women nearby, another tomboy type, smirked. "Oh, that's Violet."

"Violet. The name's as pretty as you are."

At this, Violet's smile widened and she finally spoke. "You sure know how to flatter a girl." Her voice was a combination of little-girl and husky.

Time for the next step. "Can I buy you a drink?"

She looked at him for a second, then held up her nearly-full mug, still topped with foam. "Got one."


"Well, tell you what, Violet. I'll get myself a beer of my own, and then we'll go find a table and get to know each other."

The tomboy raised her eyebrows. The woman would be gorgeous if she got some decent clothes. "She's with me."

Damn cockblocker. Eliot smiled disarmingly. "It's nice you're so protective of your friends and all, but how about letting her lead her own life? Come on, Violet."

Violet didn't move, just stood there watching him, dimpling. The others, however, were now laughing out loud. Probably the tomboy was always pushy and they were glad to see her told to back off. Violet was into him, he could tell, but he was going to have to get her away from this crowd. Firmly he took her arm, but the other woman actually stepped right between them.

"Don't touch her." It was a quietly given order, and she didn't sound like she was joking. It was too crowded, so he took a step back and began, "Look, I don't know what you've been through, lady, but...."

He didn't even see it coming. Probably the strongest right cross since that Russian smuggler fella. Not that it would have blown him over that way if he were expecting it, maybe.

Still trying to follow that last bit, Eliot started to pull himself up, grabbing a bar stool. And that's when she got him with a knee and an elbow. At once.

"Go get him, Corky!" hollered the little blonde at the end of the bar, and the other women just laughed and cheered. He knew there were some man-haters out there, but this was ridiculous.

She kicked him a few times, but there wasn't much heart in it, then walked back to her friend.

A tall cool brunette crouched at his side and patted his shoulder. "I'd stay down, if I were you. Not much point in getting up."

He eased himself up a little on one elbow, and looked at her. Raised an eyebrow in question.

A few feet away, he could hear that husky velvet voice again. "Come on, sailor, let's go home."

Corky laughed and touched her hip. "Don't mind if I do."

Eliot looked at his new ally again. Raised the other eyebrow.

She shrugged. "What do you expect at a bar named Gertrude's?"


A few hours later, back at the office, Nate was explaining a stupider plan than usual while Eliot was holding an icepack to his cheek and thinking on what went wrong.

Nate caught a good look and stopped mid-sentence. "Yeah, well.... What happened to you?"

He shrugged. Life was funny sometimes. "Well, how was I supposed to know it was a lesbian bar?"


Kadorienne's Fanfiction
Grey Bard's Fanfiction