The Very Secret Diaries of Anne Boleyn (Which Are Very Historical And Not Made Up At All)

by Kadorienne and Grey Bard

June the seventh, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

Hats worn: 2
Times the King eyed me: 4
Times the King eyed my sister: 6

Drowning my sorrows in malmsy.

Still not Queen.

June the twenty third, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

Bible in English full of dirty stories. Better not tell King.

Not Queen yet.

June the twenty fifth, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

Sir Thomas More made the oddest noise today, it sounded like WhoreOfBabylon, but that can't be right. There aren't any Babylonians at court.

Hats worn: 1
Times the King eyed me: 2
Times the King eyed my sister: 0

Diary, I am counting this as a win!

Still not Queen, though.

July the nineteeth, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

Jousting tournament today. V. thrilling. King beat everyone. He's so wonderful and good at everything!

Hats worn: 3.

Not Queen today either.

August the fourth, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

King invited us to a musical recital tomorrow, v. excited. Works of his own composition! How can he be so wonderful and good at everything?

Hats worn: 3 (I have a lovely new nightcap!)
Times the King eyed me: 3
Times the King eyed my sister: 3

August the fifth, in the Year of Our Lord 1532

King invited us to a musical recital today, was v. excited. Works were his own composition. How can it be? He's usually so wonderful and good at everything...

Hats worn: 2
Times the King eyed anyone: Don't care

MORE MALMSY NOW.

Still not Queen.

February the third, in the Year of Our Lord 1533

Went to see my brother this morning. Found Mark Smeaton coming out of brother's chambers with lute. Said he was asking George's advice on purchasing new codpiece.

Think Smeaton might be kinda gay.

Hats worn: 2.
Times the King eyed me: 5 and a half (that boring More interrupted him mid-eye).
Times the King eyed my sister: 1.

Go me! But still not Queen.

P.S. Have wild craving for apples. WTH?


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