FARMER KLAUS
by Margaret Price


One day, out of the blue, Klaus realized the only reason Dorian was pursuing him was to annoy him. He immediately announces that he’s leaving NATO to take up gardening.

Horrified, Dorian flies to Germany in a futile attempt to provoke the Major, up to and including stripping naked and dancing in the dirt. Klaus responds with a thank you, stating that the earth needed compacting anyway. The Earl gives up, flying back to England in search of other prey.

After a month, when it’s clear the Earl will not return, Klaus ends his sabbatical, returning to NATO.

"The idiot."

Eroica