The Secret Diary of Ichabod Crane

Day One
Host has daughter. Yow!
Daughter has large boyfriend. Stay away.
Swoon count: 0.

Day Two
Fourth victim. Town elders highly impressed with my techniques.
Doctor moved body. The nerve.
Cauterized neck wound. Ugh.
Swoon count: 0.

Day Three
Why couldn't Philipse just tell me the widow was pregnant instead of making me dig the body up and cut it open?
Large boyfriend threw pumpkin at me. Jerk. Had fireside tete-a-tete with host's daughter. Serves him right.
Swoon count: 1.

Day Five
It was a headless horseman! A dead horseman without a head! A horseman, a dead one — headless! It's all true! I saw him!
Swoon count: 2.

Day Six
Only people willing to investigate woods are me, a woman and a kid. Pathetic.
Brave, large boyfriend got self killed. I told him.
Host's daughter leaned over to give me sleeping draught. View worth getting stabbed through the chest.
Swoon count: 1.

Day Seven
Smooth-talked host's daughter after nightmare. Wonder if I'd faint on my wedding night.
Was attacked by giant spider. Servant boy thinks they're harmless. Hopeless ignorance out here in the sticks. Stayed conscious.
Host's wife committing indiscretions with preacher. Kinky indiscretions. That kind of thing is exactly why I'm still a virgin.
Swoon count: 0.

Day Eight
Struck out with host's daughter. Bummer.
All suspects dead. In fact, everyone of importance in town dead.
Trying to figure out how to tell Burgomaster that my scientific methods detected a ghost controlled by a witch.
Swoon count: 0.

Day Nine
Should have listened to kid sooner.
Saved host's daughter. Sent culprit to hell. Put murdering ghost to rest. I win.
Swoon count: 1.

 

Humor
Sleepy Hollow